"Cheesy Goulash:
Our Tasty Path to Barista FIRE" 

This article is part of the  Behavioral Money Deep Dive Series, in which we explore the behavioral-psychological sides of money step by step.

In previous weeks, we’ve already covered several foundational concepts that invisibly shape our financial behavior:

Article 1: Loss Aversion – why losses weigh more heavily than gains, and how this biases our choices.
Article 2: Mental Accounting – how we label money in separate “mental accounts” and how that affects our financial well-being.
Article 3: Behavioral Life Cycle Hypothesis (BLCH) – how people mentally divide their income, consumption, and savings—often irrationally, but predictably.

In Article 4, we shift focus to three interrelated themes that may be even more fundamental: stress, identity, and the meaning of money.
We explore how financial pressure affects emotional functioning, how identity becomes intertwined with financial behavior, and how the meaning we assign to money shapes our well-being.

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Chapter 1: Stress and Money

Introduction

Financial stress is one of the most persistent forms of psychological pressure. Work stress or relationship problems may be temporary, but money stress can slowly but surely embed itself into daily life. It affects emotions, cognitive function, creativity, health, and even relationships.

In this chapter, we explore what financial stress is, the mechanisms behind it, and its consequences for health and behavior.

1.1 What Is Financial Stress?

Financial stress isn’t just about objective poverty or debt—it’s primarily about the perception of scarcity (Peirce et al., 1996). You might earn the same as your sibling, yet experience vastly different levels of stress depending on expectations, social comparison, and personal meaning-making. The feeling of “not having enough” is therefore often subjective.

A popular quote by Will Rogers captures this well:

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

 

1.2 Psychological Mechanisms

a. Scarcity and Tunnel Vision – Research by Mani et al. (2013) shows that financial worries impair cognitive capacity. When attention is consumed by money problems, there’s little mental bandwidth left for anything else, increasing the likelihood of short-term decisions (e.g., expensive loans, credit cards, Klarna use).

b. Body in Alarm Mode – Money stress triggers the same physiological response as physical threats: elevated cortisol, sleep problems, and increased risk of heart disease (Sweet et al., 2013). Financial stress is also a medical risk factor.

c. Emotions Under Pressure – Beyond physical and cognitive effects, financial stress carries an emotional load: shame, anxiety, helplessness, and sometimes depression (Richardson et al., 2013). The loss of control undermines autonomy and self-image.

“Through an emotional rollercoaster and tunnel vision, someone with money problems makes more poor decisions and spirals deeper into trouble.”

 

1.3 Inequality and Differences

Not everyone experiences financial stress in the same way. Low-income groups are structurally more affected, but the middle class also struggles—often due to debt or job insecurity (Lusardi & Tufano, 2015).

• Young adults: high pressure from student loans and social comparison.

• Elderly: uncertainty about pensions and healthcare costs.

• Migrants and minorities: above-average stress due to structural inequality and, in some cultures, social or familial pressure to support relatives financially—even at personal cost.

1.4 Reflection Questions

• When in your life did you feel the most financial stress—and how did it affect your decisions?

• Which short-term “solutions” created long-term problems?

• Which buffers—financial, social, or emotional—help you stay resilient?

 

Our Reflection

Right after buying my first house, I experienced the most stress. Through a starter loan and two roommates, I just managed to make ends meet each month. I lived paycheck to paycheck, always slightly in the red. Saving didn’t even cross my mind—I was just trying not to overdraft.

When we met, A was still living in Budapest, so we spent nearly a year flying back and forth. Luckily, at the time, return tickets often cost around €20. Early in a relationship, you naturally want to impress each other—so those weren’t cheap weekends.

Now that our salaries have grown, we can save more. We’ve consciously built maintenance and emergency buffers, which bring peace of mind. We also have a savings account (via Raisin) that’s less accessible—our “uncertainty fund”—purely to reduce stress.

 

Conclusion

Financial stress isn’t a minor inconvenience—it’s a powerful vicious cycle. It limits cognitive function, undermines health, and weighs heavily on emotions. Because money is so deeply woven into daily life, money stress affects identity and well-being.

In the field of Behavioral Money, this insight is crucial: money stress isn’t just an individual issue but a societal phenomenon.

 

Chapter 2: Identity and Money

Introduction

Money is a mirror of who we are—and who we aspire to be. It strongly shapes both self-perception and how others perceive us. It’s also a way of assigning meaning to our existence.

This chapter examines how money and identity are intertwined—how consumption relates to self-concept, how financial behavior and self-image can clash, and how culture and community shape this relationship.

 

2.1 Theoretical Foundations

Self-concept and Money
The self-concept encompasses the beliefs and values one holds about oneself (Markus & Wurf, 1987). Money plays a dual role: it enables a lifestyle aligned with that self-image, but also exposes its limitations.

For instance, someone who sees themselves as a responsible parent wanting to provide stability may feel shame or failure when struggling to pay rent or bills—sometimes even an identity crisis (Dittmar, 2008).

Social Identity and Status
According to social identity theory (Tajfel & Turner, 1979), people derive part of their identity from the groups they belong to. Money and consumption are powerful symbols within these dynamics—brand clothing, cars, homes signal both status and group membership (Han et al., 2010).

The Extended Self
Belk (1988) proposed the concept of the extended self: possessions become extensions of our identity. Losing significant objects (a home, heirloom, or even a smartphone) can feel like losing part of oneself. Money enables this process by granting access to symbolic goods and experiences.

 

2.2 Consumption as Identity Construction

Consumption isn’t purely economic—it’s a way to tell your life story. Choosing between an electric car and a sports car communicates very different identities: environmentally conscious versus status-driven.

Ahuvia (2005) argues that people use consumption—products, brands, and experiences—to build coherent life narratives. We choose what “fits” our story and avoid what doesn’t. This explains why financial limits can feel existential: they force us to redefine ourselves.

 

2.3 When Financial Behavior Clashes with Self-Image

Shame and Guilt
When financial behavior contradicts one’s self-image, shame often arises. Someone who sees themselves as “responsible” may feel intense guilt over debt. Such emotions can lead to avoidance—unopened bills, hidden loans—worsening the situation (Walker, 2012).

The Impostor Syndrome
Financial success can also create identity conflict. People with impostor syndrome feel undeserving of their achievements (Clance & Imes, 1978), leading to either excessive caution or risk-taking to “prove” themselves.

 

2.4 Culture, Society, and Identity

The link between money and identity is deeply cultural.

• Individualistic cultures (e.g., the US, Netherlands): money symbolizes autonomy and achievement.

• Collectivist cultures (e.g., Japan, China): money is tied to family duty and social harmony.

Western consumer ideologies strengthen the link between self-worth and material success (Kasser, 2002)—which explains why financial hardship hits not just wallets, but identities.

 

2.5 Examples and Cases

Case 1: The Student with Debt
A master’s student sees themselves as a future professional but carries a heavy student loan. Though objectively an investment, the debt may feel like failure, affecting confidence and career choices.

Case 2: The Immigrant Entrepreneur
A migrant building a business in the Netherlands may view money as proof of integration and success. Yet family expectations from the home country may create tension: save for growth or send remittances? Identity and money intertwine across borders.

 

2.6 Reflection Questions

• How do your spending and consumption reflect your values and self-image?

• Have you ever made financial decisions just to maintain an image?

• What role do culture and social comparison play in your relationship with money?

 

Our Reflection

Our spending patterns definitely reflect our values and self-image. J doesn’t care about appearances—so our budget shows minimal clothing costs (except when A forces him to buy something “decent”). You won’t find us at fancy Michelin restaurants either—partly because we don’t value that lifestyle (and partly because J is picky!).

Still, we fall for image-related purchases too—like an expensive electric car. It wasn’t consciously for status, but we convinced ourselves it “drove better” or “looked nicer.” And, let’s be honest, it feels good when others compliment your possessions. We’re social creatures—no one’s immune to validation.

 

Conclusion Chapter 2

Money and identity are inseparable. Financial decisions are not merely functional—they help construct and maintain the self. When financial reality clashes with identity ideals, feelings of shame, guilt, or crisis arise. Cultural and social contexts further shape this dynamic.

Within the Behavioral Money framework, this insight is crucial: financial choices are identity choices. Understanding this link allows for more nuanced perspectives and interventions that respect the psychological dimensions of money.

 

Chapter 3: The Meaning of Money

Introduction

What does money actually mean?
For some, it represents security; for others, success. Some see it as a means to make dreams come true, while others view it as a source of worry or moral dilemmas. For decades, behavioral scientists have studied how individuals and societies assign symbolic meanings to money—and how these meanings, in turn, influence financial decisions and well-being.

In this chapter, we explore the different layers of meaning attached to money. We discuss theoretical models (including the Money Ethic Scale), philosophical and sociological perspectives, and empirical findings on the relationship between the meaning of money and well-being. We also address cultural variations in how money is understood, along with reflective questions to help you examine your own relationship with money.

 

3.1 Money as a Symbol

Beyond the Economic Function

Traditionally, money is defined in economic terms as a medium of exchange, a unit of account, and a store of value (Samuelson & Nordhaus, 2009).
But psychologically and sociologically, money fulfills far more functions. It serves as a symbol that embodies values, relationships, and identities.
As Viviana Zelizer (1994) convincingly showed, money is always socially “tagged”: we treat the same amount of money differently depending on context—whether it’s gift money, salary, or inheritance.

The Multiple Meanings of Money

Psychological research shows that individuals attach various meanings to money, such as:

• Security: a buffer against uncertainty and adversity.

• Freedom: the ability to make choices without dependency.

• Status: a means to gain recognition and social standing.

• Power: the capacity to influence others or situations.

• Love and Care: spending money on family and friends as an expression of connection and affection.

 

3.2 The Money Ethic Scale (MES)

One of the most influential tools for measuring the meaning of money is the Money Ethic Scale (Tang, 1992). This scale examines how individuals perceive money along several dimensions, such as:

• Money as Success – the extent to which one links achievement and self-worth to financial outcomes.

• Money as Freedom – the degree to which money is associated with autonomy and choice.

• Money as Sin or Evil – the moral connotations attributed to money.

• Money as Power – the extent to which money is seen as a source of control and influence.

Research using the MES shows that these meanings are not neutral—they influence job satisfaction, motivation, and even ethical behavior. Employees who view money strongly as success tend to report more work stress and lower satisfaction (Tang & Chiu, 2003). Conversely, seeing money as freedom correlates with greater motivation and well-being (Tang et al., 2004).

 

3.3 Philosophical and Sociological Perspectives

Georg Simmel: The Abstraction of Money

The German sociologist Georg Simmel (1900/1990) saw money as the ultimate form of abstraction.
Where barter once required personal relationships, money makes transactions objective and impersonal.
This creates, on one hand, freedom, but on the other, alienation: human relationships become increasingly “monetized.”

Max Weber: The Protestant Ethic

Weber (1905/2002) linked religious beliefs to the meaning of money. He argued that the Protestant work ethic strengthened the connection between money, labor, and moral value.
Success and wealth were seen as signs of personal discipline—a cultural association that continues to shape modern neoliberal meritocracies.

Viviana Zelizer: The Social Life of Money

Zelizer (1994) demonstrated that money is never fully neutral—it is socially and morally labeled by people.
The same amount of money takes on different meanings depending on context: pocket money for children, dowries, donations.
This shows that the meaning of money is relational and culturally embedded.

 

3.4 Subjective Meaning and Well-Being

Materialistic Orientation

Research by Kasser & Ryan (1993) shows that people who place money and wealth at the center of their life goals (“extrinsic values”) tend to report lower well-being and higher stress.
Materialism correlates negatively with relationship satisfaction and psychological health.

Financial Meaning and Quality of Life

It is not the amount of money that primarily determines well-being, but rather the meaning attributed to it.
Those who see money as a means to freedom often report greater life satisfaction, while those who see it as a symbol of status or power are more prone to dissatisfaction and social comparison (Srivastava et al., 2001).

 

3.5 Cultural Variation in the Meaning of Money

Cultural studies show that the meaning of money differs greatly between societies:

• In Western individualistic cultures, money is often equated with autonomy and self-realization (Hofstede, 2001).

• In Asian collectivist cultures, money is more strongly associated with family honor, intergenerational solidarity, and social obligations (Yang, 2013).

• In developing countries, money often represents basic survival and safety, making financial stress more intense (Guzmán et al., 2020).

 

3.6 Reflection Questions for the Reader

• What primary meaning do you assign to money: freedom, status, security, care, or power?

• Are your financial decisions driven more by personal values or by social expectations?

• How does your view of money differ from that of your parents or your culture of origin?

 

Our Reflection

For us, freedom and security are the most important meanings of money—combined with care.
We feel partly responsible for the (financial) well-being of family members.
I think we also derive part of our self-worth and sense of status from that responsibility—as if we wouldn’t contribute enough as people if we weren’t financially supportive of our families.

Our view differs greatly from that of our parents.
A’s parents are Hungarian, J’s parents are Dutch—so there are some cultural differences, but not as many as you might expect.
Our parents were not investors (at least, not successful ones) and never “built” much besides their own home and a standard pension. Both families grew up with the idea that the system or pension funds would provide for them in old age—and for them, that turned out to be true.

Freedom was not really a topic in their time, and status wasn’t something they focused on either—“who is born a dime will never become a quarter.”
Our generation is different, partly due to the experiences we’ve had at other stages in life.
We don’t want to depend on the assumption that financial security will be there when we retire.
We dream of a freedom that includes not working for the same employer for 40 years, but having the opportunity to make different choices.
At the same time, social media drives us crazy with the idea that status is within everyone’s reach—if only you work hard enough.

 

Conclusion – Chapter 3

The meaning of money goes far beyond numbers on a bank statement.
It is a powerful symbol that can provide freedom—but also create pressure and alienation.
Academic research shows that the interpretation of money determines well-being, motivation, and ethical behavior.
Therefore, it is essential not only to look at financial figures but also at the subjective meanings attached to them.

Within the Behavioral Money framework, this insight is fundamental:
money is a psychologically charged symbol that profoundly influences our choices.
By consciously reflecting on what money means to us, we can shape not only our finances—but also our lives—more intentionally.

 

Chapter 4: Integration – The Triangle Model

Introduction

The preceding chapters have shown us that stress, identity, and the meaning of money do not operate independently. On the contrary: they form a dynamic system in which each component influences the others. To better understand this interconnection, we introduce the Behavioral Money Triangle Model.

This model describes how (1) financial stress influences our thinking and behavior, (2) identity guides how we experience and use money, and (3) the subjective meaning of money continuously colors this relationship. By making this interplay visible, we gain not only better insight into financial behavior, but also into interventions that can help us handle money more healthily.

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4.1 The Triangle Model – an overview

The model consists of three vertices:

• Stress – the psychological and physiological burden stemming from financial uncertainty or pressure.

• Identity – the self-image and social roles that are shaped in part by money and consumption.

• Meaning of money – the symbolic and subjective values individuals attach to money (e.g., freedom, status, security).

The connections between these points are bidirectional:

• Stress affects identity (shame, loss of status), but identity also determines how stress is experienced.

• Identity influences the meaning of money (what money “symbolizes for you”), but the meaning you assign to money strengthens or weakens your sense of identity.

• The meaning of money can reduce stress (if money symbolizes freedom) or increase it (if money symbolizes status).

 

4.2 From Stress to Identity

Financial stress has direct consequences for our self-image. Research shows that people in debt often experience feelings of failure and shame, which undermine their identity (Walker, 2012). This impact on identity is not purely psychological: loss of financial resources can lead to social exclusion, threatening one’s social identity (Schoon & Bynner, 2019).

Example: someone who sees themselves as a “good provider” for the family but runs into financial trouble due to job loss may experience an identity crisis. Here, stress and identity loss reinforce each other.

 

4.3 From Identity to Stress

The relationship also works the other way around: our identity determines how susceptible we are to financial stress. When someone strongly ties their self-worth to material success, any financial loss threatens the self-image, increasing the likelihood of stress (Dittmar, 2008).

Cultural component: In individualistic societies, where success is often expressed in monetary terms, the link between identity and stress is stronger than in collectivist cultures, where family ties or social harmony are more defining (Hofstede, 2001).

 

4.4 From Identity to the Meaning of Money

Identity functions as a lens through which we interpret money. For someone who sees themselves as an adventurer, money may primarily symbolize freedom, whereas for someone who sees themselves as a caregiver, money may symbolize care and responsibility.

This relationship is confirmed in research using the Money Ethic Scale: people with strongly individualistic identities score higher on “money as success” and “money as power,” while more collectivist identities show higher scores on “money as care or solidarity” (Tang, 1992).

 

4.5 From the Meaning of Money to Identity

The symbolic value we assign to money in turn feeds our identity. Those who view money as status will use consumption to project a particular image, thereby expressing and shaping their identity. Those who view money as freedom, by contrast, develop an identity centered on independence and autonomy.

Example: research by Ahuvia (2005) shows that consumers help construct their life narratives through “beloved objects” often acquired with money. These objects function as building blocks of identity.

 

4.6 From Stress to the Meaning of Money

Stress colors how we experience money. Under acute financial pressure, money often takes on the meaning of sheer survival and safety. In that context, money as a symbol of freedom or status recedes into the background.

Empirical evidence: Mani et al. (2013) showed that under financial stress, cognitive bandwidth becomes so limited that money is viewed almost exclusively as a means of immediate problem-solving. Long-term meanings (investing in the future, self-development) fade.

 

4.7 From the Meaning of Money to Stress

The meaning you assign to money influences how much stress you experience. If money primarily symbolizes status, any financial setback can cause stress because your image is at stake. If money symbolizes freedom, however, a financial buffer can actually reduce stress.

Research by Srivastava et al. (2001) shows that people who see money primarily as a means to autonomy report higher life satisfaction and are less susceptible to financial stress than those who see money as status or power.

 

4.8 Practical implications of the model

The Triangle Model shows that interventions at one point can affect the entire dynamic:

• Stress reduction: programs that provide financial education and debt assistance can not only lower stress, but also promote identity restoration and shift the meaning of money from survival to autonomy.

• Identity work: coaching that helps people decouple self-worth from financial status can reduce stress and foster more constructive meanings of money.

• Meaning awareness: reflecting on one’s personal meaning of money can reduce stress and strengthen identity by increasing alignment between values and financial behavior.

 

Conclusion of Chapter 4

Stress, identity, and the meaning of money form a triangular dynamic in which each element influences the others. Financial stress can put identities under pressure; identities color the way we experience money; and the meaning we assign to money determines how strongly stress affects us.

The Triangle Model offers an integrated lens for understanding this interplay. For behavioral money, this means that analyzing financial behavior requires a multi-faceted perspective—psychological, social, and symbolic. Only by acknowledging this interweaving can we develop effective interventions that help people handle money more healthily and mindfully.

 

Overall Conclusion

This deep dive into stress, identity, and the meaning of money shows that money is far more than an economic tool—it’s a psychological symbol shaping well-being.

• Stress reveals how scarcity limits our thinking and emotions.

• Identity shows how money intertwines with self-worth and social role.

• Meaning demonstrates that what money represents matters more than how much we have.

Healthy financial behavior, therefore, requires an integrated approach—not just numbers and budgets, but also identity, values, and psychology. Only then can individuals and societies handle money with awareness, resilience, and ultimately, greater happiness.

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